Not all sperm is created equal.

Today is day 3 of my cycle. We'll probably buy our sperm today. However, all weekend we've been thinking about switching our donor.

Somehow, I feel as though it shouldn't really make a big difference. We're getting our sperm from California Cryobank, which is not exactly an un-known sperm bank. Shouldn't all of their sperm be equally suitable for pregnancy? Back in the very beginning when we were talking with our doctor about when we should be getting concerned and start taking further steps to get pregnant, he said that we should get through 6 months of unsuccessful insemination's before freaking out. So far we've only been three, but for those of you who know my partner, that's long enough. LOL.

On my to-do list today is a phone call to our primary contact nurse at Dartmouth. She will have more info on this. I feel as though I've heard from somewhere that some sperm might not 'jive' with every egg. Is this true? Maybe I just need a different California surfer boy grad student. Back to the short list for inspiration.

Two weeks closer to our next insemination....

Yes, we are two weeks away from another trip to Dartmouth. Not pregnant.

My period is alive and well; cramps that almost had me doubled over today in meetings. The only good news tonight is the cape codder that is helping me write this. Vodka really is good.

I was so optimistic this time, for the first time ever. But my optimism faded as I started to get crampy and PMSy. Apparently I will just continue to 'go with the flow' and try try again.

Tonight's conversation is positive; about Jeopardy answers (don't call out house durring Jeopardy, we won't answer) and the possibility of marriage in August. I had a bride cancel (her whole wedding was canceled....uh oh).....freed up a whole weekend for me. Why not take advantage of that?! I think it was meant to be. Elope to the cape. Actually elope, not what these crazy people at the hotel call eloping (planning to elope definitely doesn't count. Or when you have more than 5 guests on a meal plan.) Where can we find a nice little free beach to enjoy for an afternoon?

For now, I will continue to enjoy my cape codder, get through my crazy work week and imagine a wedding on the cape. My partner just threw out yet another fabulous girl name option from some commercial. For now, tampons are on my shopping list.

They should make fake coffee drinks....well they sort of do.

It is 4:15am. Tuesday morning, my Monday. I've been tossing and turning now for about an hour. Another busy week at work. Time to make the donuts.

However, I can take this ridiculously early opportunity to post about my first mocktail (we just won't mention the soccer game, okay??) The Watermelon Agua Fresca, as I'll call it, was so perfect; crisp, clean and refreshing with just enough sweetness. It's pretty easy to make (and I'm sure there are plenty of variations and additions on this to play with):

1/4 of a seedless watermelon
Juice from 2 limes
A huge amount of mint (in the end, I used about 1/3 of the bunch I bought)
Lime seltzer

I used my handy 2-cup food processor to blend the watermelon, lime and mint. Immediately following this step, I asked my partner for a blender and a Cuisinart for baby shower gifts. That thing is so small. How am I going to make all my own baby food with that tiny thing??? Dreams of spare time and energy....Anyway, then I filled half my glass with seltzer and the other half with watermelon yumminess. Insert straw and enjoy. So good!

I am trying to remain positive about this cycle even though I really don't 'feel' any different. It should work now that I'm truly 'ready', right? Yeah, right. Course, am I supposed to really 'feel' any different? So many opinions and experiences I've read about say nothing about feeling different right away, while some women say they 'just knew' the second they were pregnant. We test on Thursday. We'll know then.

What do you do to pass the time? Drink.

Finally, after a several moments of tension and concern, my little eggies appeared and we went to Dartmouth. Today is Sunday and we will test for pregnancy on Thursday this week. It was my first visit to the hospital without my partner. She was so busy that day at work that there was no chance of her getting away for the afternoon. It was OK, especially because the nurse who performed the insemination was our main point-of-contact. We laughed about the craziness of the concussion, and it was just fine to be there alone.

Today is the FIFA finals and I will be watching my TV girlfriend Abby Wambach. I'm going to be preparing my first mocktail that sounds much more exciting than just juice with seltzer. It's fresh watermelon, lime juice and mint with seltzer as recommended by my friend and soon-to-be hopefully preggo lesbo. Sounds very refreshing...I will report back.

I will say this: I have a very good feeling about this one. The first insemination I wasn't really emotionally ready. The second insemination I wasn't really physically ready. But this time, I am both. Let's do this.

Cranberry and seltzer with lime

It's a good thing that I like cranberry juice or I would be screwed.

I can't drink my two favorite substances: coffee all day and gin. Not together, thankfully :-) But seriously, can you imagine if there was no fizzy, juicy, yummy mixer that appealed to me? Water; that would be my excitement.

I have decided to add an element to this blog; mock-tails. We all need a good drink every now and again. I will do some drinking research sans-booze. Something to pass the time, right? Until the next big preggo test....next Thursday. No big symptoms to speak of yet, however,

I am thirsty.

Okay, so it was two months.

Yes, for those of you thinking that was a rediculously long 'one month', it has in fact been two months.

It has been just over three months since the concussion, and I am finally feeling like myself again. Only ocassionally do I have a small dizzy spell, and it usually goes away in a few minutes. I haven't taken any serious drugs for about three weeks now. So we are ready to make babies once more!

Summer is upon us and we are trying to take a few 'days off' to enjoy a 'vacation'. I say this lightly since we will both be working over the course of our 'days off', my partner much more so than myself. Yesterday, amongst phone calls and email interuptions, we went to the beach. It was a gorgeous day and the lesbians with babies were everywhere! Not to mention the old lesbos, baby dykes, and middle aged dyke-alikes as well. It was just a very gay day at the coast I guess. After we had our fill of sunshine, we went to our favorite hang out for a mocktail/cocktail. My partner made an interesting call and got into a not-so-interesting conversation with a guy at the bar about travel and islands to visit. She then made a very interesting call to compare Key West to Provincetown, and the conversation was only downhill from there. As he made some sort of comment about what 'they' do in Provincetown, we both paused, looked at each other, smiled, and remembered that people are generally naive or stupid, blind that two lesbians are in fact sitting in front of them. Perhaps mostly naive. Well, maybe stupid. And just wait until we have a baby, right? That'll confuse 'em.

Today is day 15 in my cycle and still no smiley face on the ovulation kit. The previous two times we've been, I've ovulated on day 14, so I am wondering why no eggies yet. Perhaps it has something to do with all the acupuncture? Since we started working on fertility (and not concussion) at the acupuncturist, I have been moody, emotional, crampy, crampy and generally crampy. My period was a bit more 'normal' I suppose, but not entirely. And since then basically I wake up daily with minor cramps and then they may or may not get worse through the day. I am going to see him today and will definately ask about the no ovulation.

Other than that, we are so excited to be back on track! My partner is crazy busy at work right now, and just waiting to see how/when we'll fit in our trip to Dartmouth. Hopefully it will be tomorrow.