Redemption for Dartmouth: the 'stay-cation' continues....

As you know, Dartmouth Hospital is a part of a world-renowned research center and ivy league college. We are of the opinion that you get what you pay for. After my rant of an email last week, our contact was very quick to call us back and defend their program while truly making us feel better about our healthcare.

I felt gulty after writing the email. I was harsh, and although I tried to not personally attack our contact, there were some parts that would have hurt me if it were my email to recieve. However, I didn't lie about or exaggerate any of our feelings at all. I kept reminding myself that I in fact do have to take charge of my own care to get what I need.

The call was long, about 30 minutes. I finally now know (after all this time) what sorts of tests that I could be up against both emotionally and financially and what the time frame is for all of them. I know more about who to direct other questions to that she couldn't answer. I know that although we feel sort of ignored in this process, this is all that we really need to be doing/concerned with at this point and that yes, we are being rigorously charted (for the info that they want right now...). I finally feel as though we have been informed about the process.

It is stressful being a hopefully preggo lesbo. The money that we saved to start this process is dissapearing. We joke that every month, we take a 'stay-cation' to Dartmouth. It's such a nice, scenic drive up I89 after all.... Humor is so great. We should get a camcorder so we can remember these fun, light-hearted moments we share during the car ride years from now when our kids move out and we're dealing with an empty nest. Hmmm. According to my partner, she ought to be about 90 by then. hehehe.

Sperm: it works better with alcohol.

Today is day 8 in my cycle.....it's time to stop what we're doing and buy sperm.

Tonight when I got home, I found it important to pour a giant cocktail. Perhaps it's due to my crazy busy career choice at this point. Lots of gin, a little triple sec, a little lime juice and cranberry. Sort of a 'oh crap, we're out of vodka' cape codder. I asked my partner to remind me that we HAD to buy sperm today or we'd have to pay extra for speedier shipment. So I got home, poured my drink, and announced that 'I'd be half in the bag and buying sperm' shortly. 'Isn't that how it's supposed to work? Doesn't everyone do it this way?' It is so easy to catch a buzz lately. I hardly drink anything alcoholic at this point, sort of training myself for the next stage. So basically I smell a stiff drink and start giggling.

The clomid is going well so far. Today is the third day of my five-day stint. I had a headache on the first day, really bad. But since then, no complaints. Oh, and we've had a huge conversation with our point-of-contact at Dartmouth. More to come on that.

We're going with the same donor as last time.....we're debating naming our child after him.....LOL. Every kid wants a number for a name, right? Sort of unique and catchy, right? A little buzz every now and then is a really great thing. My stress is melting away with the ice cubes.

Here we go again!!! With drugs this time!!!

OMG....I am not a faithful blogger. At least not in full-out wedding season. Time is something that I just don't have. Although, perhaps this is a good thing; I am not spending all day thinking and worrying about the fact that yet again, I am not pregnant.

My partner and I literally got into a full on, blow out argument last week about taking a pregnancy test on Thursday, like planned. Her argument was that we should just let nature take it's course and wait and see if I started my period. My argument was that I wanted to know as soon as possible what the outcome of our waiting and money was. Thursday came and went with no pregnancy test taken. Friday she came around and said we should test. The first test was a lemon; something wrong with it. The second test was a big fat negative. And then, as nature would sarcastically have it, I started my period about 5 hours later. Thanks nature for that slap in the face.

I know in my last post I had mentioned that we were researching Clomid. I had emailed our contact at Dartmouth early in the week, but she didn't respond until a rather angry phone call from my girlfriend on Saturday that questioned her lack of attention. It's been easily a year and a half since we've been working with Dartmouth, and since March that we've been inseminating with them, and they haven't even as much asked how my cycle was let alone charted my progress or lack there of. I am not sure if the outcome is what Dartmouth would normally do as their SOP, but I am going to pick up my Clomid prescription this afternoon and start on it tomorrow. I am frustrated with the lack of 'managed care' we are receiving from Dartmouth. One would think that a world-renowned hospital and research center would give a little more attention and individualized care to their patients. Why are we paying a premium and driving two hours for average health care? I may look into a local hospital or clinic for the remainder of our stint as hopefully preggo lesbos. What a waste of time, energy, money and gasoline.

Yeah, so, Clomid tomorrow! I have done all the research on it myself. No one at Dartmouth has told me what to expect. At least they had the courtesy to tell me how and when to take it.

I'm not sure I really know what to expect either way.

Peach Orange Blitz

Today is my third Sunday in a row. I haven't been so relaxed in months. I do have to work tomorrow. *sigh*

My partner and I decided to take Friday, Saturday and Sunday off this week to simply stay at home and chill out and celebrate our 8-year anniversary. (Although I originally had hopes of an impromptu wedding this weekend, staying home was absolutely perfect. We will start to plan a more big to-do for next year, we promise). It has been a great few days; Rye beach on Friday, random chores, yard work and errands on Saturday, couch today.

Today being actually Sunday, I thought it appropriate to make a fab mock-tail to drink while watching re-runs of Oprah on OWN (I've never really watched Oprah religiously, but OWN is sort of addictive when she gets into the behind the scene crap). Today's flavor is the Peach Orange Blitz:

1 over-ripe peach
1/2 orange
lemon-lime seltzer
4 tsp. sugar in the raw

First, I started by melting the sugar in the raw in just a touch of water in my microwave for 30 seconds,  creating a simply syrup. Then, in my same, teeny, tiny, food processor, I pureed the one peach, skin and pit removed and the 1/2 orange, skin removed. In a pint glass, I added ice, then about 2 teaspoons of the simple syrup, about 3 tablespoons of the fruit puree and seltzer to the top. Stir with straw. Suck.

Naturally, being the lush I once was, what I really wanted to make was AMAZING Bellini's with my puree. As soon as I mentioned champagne, the bottle was open and I was mixing a Bellini for my partner. I won't lie, I did indulge a little. Perhaps this is a celebratory final drink.

Researching chlamydia.....I mean Clomid

My partner has a special language all her own that I've learned to translate into English over the years. She comes out with some crazy things, but my latest favorite is the chlamydia/Clomid thing. So funny. Our conversation yesterday morning started out with her asking, 'How do we learn more about chlamydia?' My immediate, sarcastic response was that 'I should start by having some very promiscuous sex with a prostitute'....followed by our ridiculous laughter. But I digress....LOL

CLOMID is a very popular drug for stimulating ovulation, the most popular according to a few websites I visited while researching. It is a pill that you would take for five days starting somewhere between the 5th and 10th day of your cycle depending on the recommendation of your doctor. It is the perfect drug for those who don't have any physically detrimental conditions that could lead to infertility such as blocked fallopian tubes, cysts or....hehe.....STDs. Clomid seems to be fairly safe with side effects that last for perhaps only the five days you're taking it and include nausea primarily....(ladies, if you have different experiences, please feel free to comment. I'd love to hear them.) One main side effect of clomid is multiples. One in ten births is twins with only 30% of those being identical....which mean multiple eggies being released at once!! There are chances for more than two, but they are more like 1 in 100 or greater.

Even though we've only been through four inseminations, and we don't know if were pregnant yet with this one, we're considering using Clomid for our next cycle....if we're not pregnant right now!! Our doctor has recommended that we wait until we've gone through six unsuccessful attempts before testing for infertility and taking further steps. After all, a healthy woman would have a 1 in 4 chance of pregnancy each month, meaning that I still am a normal woman here in my fourth attempt. However, it is Elizabeth, the nurse who's helped us with so many inseminations, that has encouraged us to ask to move forward with Clomid a bit earlier than originally discussed. I have sent out my emails questioning our next move to our point of contact at Dartmouth and are just now waiting to hear what the word is.

Pregnancy tinkle test on Thursday.... :-)

Life is so frickin' busy.

Well, if I were you, I'd be very upset with me. I've dedicated no time at all to sharing our latest day-to-day baby making journeys. Essentially, I've gotten up at O'Dark-Hundred, gone to work, worked my ass off, come home in the dark, eaten, maybe watched some stupid summer TV reality show (seriously bachelorette, give me a break) and gone to bed only to get up and do it again the next day. I suppose, they say you have to make hay in the sunshine, right? Well if that's the case, I think I have heat exhaustion.

So..... baby making...... right.

We went for our fourth IUI last Thursday, which was amazing timing for my crazy weekend schedule with weddings at the hotel. We've had only two different people do the procedure with us this whole time: Elizabeth, who has helped us with our first, second and fourth IUI, and Katy, who has been our main point of contact as well as helped us with our third IUI. Elizabeth is that quintessential nurse OB figure; middle-aged, a little overweight, shoulder-length wavy chestnut hair, very pleasant, and loves to chat about what's going on inside your hoo-haa. We did in fact decide to switch sperm donors for this go, which was a good idea, especially when Elizabeth comes in the room after looking at the sample under a microscope and announces that 'this one is a keeper. It looks like this sample could be fresh not frozen!!'

Ah yes, our new donor is still from California Cryobank. I feel as though I've cheated on our original donor simply because he couldn't get the job done. Very shallow of me. LOL. He is some sort of genius rocket scientist with a PhD.....my partner would have nothing less. I'm not sure he's as handsome as the first donor could have been, but I suppose we might just find out.

So our sperm sample was superlative and according to Elizabeth my hoo-haa was as well. Every time I say, 'Elizabeth, you tell that to everyone,' but she claims not to. So why hasn't it worked yet!!??