We'll call this one 'The half-month wrap-up'

Well.....I hate this month. It's November and you ask, 'what's there to hate about November?' For starters, here in NH I'm shaking cold one minute and I'm sweating the next. My sinuses don't know what to expect. But what I hate most about November is Christmas. And again you say, 'But Christmas is in December.' Yes, yes it is. Welcome to my decorating nightmare. Since November 1st I've been Christmas decorating all over the resort. My deadline to finish is in two days....Turkey Day. I am still waist deep in boxes. This explains my lapse in blogging.

IUI #6 was once again negative. I can't say that I'm surprised given the crazy emotional roller coaster the past month has been. But, even in all the craziness, I ovulated and menstruated just like business as usual. So I guess in theory, I can't blame my bouts of anxiety.

We did go and see the other doctor. It was a bit like cheating, but it was a great experience. She is young, brilliant, and fresh out of school...and as we both decided, sort of hot which doesn't hurt. Well, our last doctor was an old dude, so....kidding....she was great. Her nurse, our new point-of-contact, is also great (*yes*). We are both so happy with this latest move. It's not that she brought to light new information that we'd yet to hear. Most of it was the same, but she had a way of talking with us and explaining things to us that felt personal.

I had to cancel my nutritionist appointment. But, the reason for that was because I scheduled a hysterosalpingogram (so happy to call this thing an HSG from this point forth) at the same time. This is a radiology test where they can see if there is any sort of blockage in your fallopian tubes or weirdness going on in your uterus.  Essentially, they shoot iodine into your uterus and it swirls around and hopefully exits out your fallopian tubes. As I was getting ready for the big day, many people had warned me of the cramps. Let's just say that they were right. Holy crap. And for days following. And bloating. I have never been so bloated. I was so bloated that I think I could have stuck a pin in my abdomen and popped it like a balloon. Oh and lovely spotting (I really hate the word spotting) for days too. Fun stuff.

The HSG was fascinating to watch on the screen; sort of like a piece of black and white watercolor art coming to life. When it was done, the OB said that everything looked great. I knew it would be that way, but I feel so much better now that it's confirmed. So now we wait. We're not doing an IUI this month (I would be ovulating this weekend) to compensate for the cost of the HSG last week (total cost for test $3000. Our out of pocket cost, only about $400 with Anthem). Plus we're going on a much needed and deserved vacation in a week, and well, vacations cost money too.

Diarrhea of the mouth

Since my last post, I've had a few outbursts of anxiety, but nothing that my partner and I couldn't work through in maybe 30 minutes max. I am starting to figure out that I can't go on keeping my feelings inside; I need to let them all out as they happen....which is startling to both myself and my partner....and my staff (those poor people who had no idea I had critiques stuck in my brain). I am a new, outspoken, positive AND negative woman with concerns and fears that are spewing out.

Let's see, what has happened lately that could remotely relate to making a baby.....

We went for our 6th IUI  a week ago on Friday....less than a week more to wait. It was our first time with fabulous donor #345 from Midwest. He is a late-30's Phd who's field of study is biology. Our visit to Dartmouth was great. The same lady did our IUI again, and we had a nice, long chat about our journey to this point. She still thinks that it's odd that I haven't gotten pregnant yet, and since she's the one who looks in my hoo haa every time, I believe her. She said that we might want to get another doctor's opinion about our experience and had a great recommendation for a young woman fresh out of school at their Concord location. We have an appointment with her on Tuesday this week. I am sort of excited to hear another doctor's opinion, but honestly, I think she's going to tell us the same thing....we have to be patient.

I had an appointment with my PCP about the anxiety. She sensed that I crave information about what's going on in my body, so she recommended that I go and see a nutritionist. The appointment is later this month. I am REALLY excited about this appointment. I have always been fascinated by what we eat and how it affects our bodies and I can't wait to ask her all sorts of questions about what I should be eating while trying to get pregnant and beyond. I am so fascinated by nutrition that it was going to be my focus for getting my masters degree...but then the flower thing came along and the rest is history. Oh, by the way, I just ate a huge piece of cake for breakfast. Thank God birthday week is almost over and that cake is almost gone. *sigh* at least I recognize my faults.