Saturday, September 3, 2011

Say my name, what's my name?

You know you're in a normal, committed, lesbian relationship when you and your partner get into an argument about what you're going to be called as parents. But really, who gets to claim 'Mom' or 'Mommy'? How do you figure this out? Knock-down blow out, that's the healthy way.... hahahha.

Yesterday we went for our fifth IUI. We are very hopeful, as usual, but maybe a bit more this time since we introduced Clomid to my cycle. I am still ridiculously bloated, and after mentioning that to our fave IUI lady, she said that changes in my cycle would be totally normal. She said that it may even effect the length of my cycle, severity of cramps, etc. Information is so helpful. I could get used to this.

Later that night, as we watched TV and zoned out the days crazy events and discussed our treks all over the state of New Hampshire, we would occasionally pause and look into each other's eyes and hold hands and just think happy thoughts.

It was my mistake to say during one of these moment's of silence as I looked longingly into her eyes, 'What are we going to call you?'

She immediately responded, 'What do you mean, what are WE going to call YOU? What, are you and the baby going to come up with some name for me?'

'No, I mean what are you and I going to call each other?'

'I am not going to be called something stupid like 'Momma S' like 'Momma B' on the L Word. We are in this together 50/50.'

'That's not what I mean. Of course we're in this together.'

'So just because you're the one giving birth, you get to be called 'Mom'? The baby will come up with what it's going to call us.'

I was getting what I call 'bug eye' from her through our whole 'conversation'. Bug eye is this great expression she has that is totally glaring. I know when I get 'bug eye' that I am in trouble....It is challenging for both of us because this whole process is so sterile and clinical, but perhaps more so for her because she is not the one carrying. I think we resolved to let names and titles develop in due time. I just hope the kid comes up with something good. I don't want to be called 'MooMa' or 'DoDa' for the rest of my parenting life.....maybe for just the first few years.

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