Today is the day that my partner has been waiting for; the day I go to a psychologist and get all my emotional crap out on the table. It's going to be one of those days I think....following my appointment, I'm going for a pap smear. Great. More probing.
Originally, I was going to go for some counseling after Jack died. That was the frosting on my delicate cake (baby-making stress, concussion stress, work stress...). At the time, I chose not to talk about it here on my blog. I made the appointment and was rarin' to go, but had to cancel it (that was a couple months ago, the day we went in for the HSG). And now, I've finally decided that in fact I should reschedule the appointment and go. Life has caught up with me, and I need a little guidance.
My partner is very supportive. She truly is my rock. But she has trouble herself coping if I start to get a little panicked or worrisome. She has encouraged me to go and see a professional, even if I'm a little hesitant.
I have never thought that I would be that person who needs counseling. It's not how I was raised, it's not what I witnessed in any of my friends or their families. But what I've come to realize is that it doesn't make me a weaker person; it makes me real. No one talks about their struggles and getting help because everyone thinks that no one else can empathize with their situation. No one else has been there and everyone will judge you. It's a huge reason why I started this blog; there are many people who have been there, and we should share our experiences instead of hiding them. No one is going to put a giant red letter on me or anyone I care about no matter their experience.
Now, if only I had the balls to tell my mother I was going to a shrink.
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Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
I Love Letrozole :-)
Let's see.....time to catch up.
The TTW was annoying as usual. I am not pregnant. Valentine's Day nearly killed me at work and I have now enjoyed three days off in a row to recouperate.
Yesterday we went to the aquarium with all the thousands of other's on Mass school vacation. So many kids to chuckle about in awe of the creatures on display. And then we had a killer dinner at Island Creek Oyster Bar over by BU/Fenway/Kenmore. Super-highly recommended! Today, we're going to a wine tasting, delish! Okay, now for the better baby stuff.
We met with our doctor just before my period started to come up with a game plan if I was in fact not pregnant (you know, since we're just so freakin pro-active and all, but I'm glad we did). This cycle, we decided to use Letrozole instead of Clomid (no more Clomid ever). It's the same deal essentially; take your dose over 5 days time prior to ovulation. The Letrozole and Clomid work differently in the brain and block different transmitters. The major difference for me: zero side effects. Litterally zero. *sigh* Awesome.
We also discussed using an ovulation 'trigger' Ovidrel injection. The injection is done in your stomach, and about 36 hours later, you go in for your IUI. Essentially, this let's the doctor time my ovulation as closely as possible to my IUI. Very exciting, well, except for the self-injecting part. This will be our track for the next 4 cycles....but this is the one, so we won't be needing the other 3.
So my nurse called in the prescriptions to CVS (like always). I got a message from CVS a few days later saying that my prescription was delayed. I called to see what that meant, and the lady on the phone said, 'Oh, it's because we wanted to let you know that one of the prescriptions is not covered by your insurance and costs $129.00.' More freakin money. She suggested that I call around to other pharmacies and see if I can get a better deal somewhere else. I am so glad I did because it really opened up my eyes to the fact that no two pharmacies prices are equal. The most expensive place (which was Walmart people) wanted $156.00 and the cheapest place (Walgreens) had a 'members club' that you could join and save money on prescriptions. For only $85.00, I got my Letrozole. Walgreens did not carry the Ovidrel injection that I needed so I went back to CVS to get it....only to discover that I had my prescriptions reversed in my brain and that the Ovidrel was the expensive one not covered by my insurance, not the Letrozole. FML!! I blame my mix-up on Valentine's Day Brain. Another $129.00.
Everything is getting more expensive. Midwest raised their IUI-ready specimen price to $525 including shipping and Dartmouth raised their IUI price to $407. Happy New Year, right?!
Ooohh Oooohh....and we went for an ultrasound to look at my little folicle eggies. It was really cool to see on the screen. They measured my eggs so that they could decide when they would be ripe enough to ovulate and then tell me when to take the injection.
Yesterday was day 12, and I gave myself the injection at 9:15pm. Our IUI is Monday at 10am :-)
The TTW was annoying as usual. I am not pregnant. Valentine's Day nearly killed me at work and I have now enjoyed three days off in a row to recouperate.
Yesterday we went to the aquarium with all the thousands of other's on Mass school vacation. So many kids to chuckle about in awe of the creatures on display. And then we had a killer dinner at Island Creek Oyster Bar over by BU/Fenway/Kenmore. Super-highly recommended! Today, we're going to a wine tasting, delish! Okay, now for the better baby stuff.
We met with our doctor just before my period started to come up with a game plan if I was in fact not pregnant (you know, since we're just so freakin pro-active and all, but I'm glad we did). This cycle, we decided to use Letrozole instead of Clomid (no more Clomid ever). It's the same deal essentially; take your dose over 5 days time prior to ovulation. The Letrozole and Clomid work differently in the brain and block different transmitters. The major difference for me: zero side effects. Litterally zero. *sigh* Awesome.
We also discussed using an ovulation 'trigger' Ovidrel injection. The injection is done in your stomach, and about 36 hours later, you go in for your IUI. Essentially, this let's the doctor time my ovulation as closely as possible to my IUI. Very exciting, well, except for the self-injecting part. This will be our track for the next 4 cycles....but this is the one, so we won't be needing the other 3.
So my nurse called in the prescriptions to CVS (like always). I got a message from CVS a few days later saying that my prescription was delayed. I called to see what that meant, and the lady on the phone said, 'Oh, it's because we wanted to let you know that one of the prescriptions is not covered by your insurance and costs $129.00.' More freakin money. She suggested that I call around to other pharmacies and see if I can get a better deal somewhere else. I am so glad I did because it really opened up my eyes to the fact that no two pharmacies prices are equal. The most expensive place (which was Walmart people) wanted $156.00 and the cheapest place (Walgreens) had a 'members club' that you could join and save money on prescriptions. For only $85.00, I got my Letrozole. Walgreens did not carry the Ovidrel injection that I needed so I went back to CVS to get it....only to discover that I had my prescriptions reversed in my brain and that the Ovidrel was the expensive one not covered by my insurance, not the Letrozole. FML!! I blame my mix-up on Valentine's Day Brain. Another $129.00.
Everything is getting more expensive. Midwest raised their IUI-ready specimen price to $525 including shipping and Dartmouth raised their IUI price to $407. Happy New Year, right?!
Ooohh Oooohh....and we went for an ultrasound to look at my little folicle eggies. It was really cool to see on the screen. They measured my eggs so that they could decide when they would be ripe enough to ovulate and then tell me when to take the injection.
Yesterday was day 12, and I gave myself the injection at 9:15pm. Our IUI is Monday at 10am :-)
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