Hard Days Night

Up until this point, I feel like I've been fairly optimistic about this whole process. Even though I get discouraged at times, I always jump back to being positive. The other day as I left work and headed to CVS to pick up my letrozole and ovidrel once again, something changed; my chest ached. I was disappointed, mad, frustrated. Why hasn't this worked? I was discouraged. Here we go again.

Wait, am I going to turn into that blogger? Crap.

We've been to 9 unsuccessful IUI's to date, but we've been officially at it for one year this month. We took two months off during the concussion phase, and then another month off when we switched doctors and did the HSG. I think it's really hitting home this month since it's been a year of it now.

My therapist says that I should embody the new spring season and be aware of all the reproduction and births happening around me in nature.  It's hard to do that when most of my outdoor time is spent speeding by nature on the highway; an hour and twenty minutes each way on a good day. I've been trying to look out my windshield and observe the trees...are they budding yet? But, it's getting dark by this point, and it seems to be distracting me from staying in my lane more than anything at this point.

As I pulled into the parking lot and went inside, I saw the same young guy behind the counter as always. He must always work the closing shift. He asked my name and got my prescriptions. As he put them down on the counter, he empathetically said 'still no luck?'

I paused, sort of questioning the fact that he was asking me such a personal question about the prescriptions I was picking up. Isn't that breaking some patient confidentiality law thingy?

'No, not yet.'

'My wife and I are trying to get pregnant too. She's taking Clomid, but I think we're going to do the trigger injections soon.' Now I understood.

'And how does she like the Clomid?'

'She hates it, horrible.'

'The letrozole is way better, no side effects at all. You guys should try it. How long have you been trying to get pregnant?'

'Six months. She just doesn't ovulate.' His face visibly sank. 'It's so hard.'

I agreed. He finished cashing me out (I was also picking up some very vogue nail polish I saw in some bridal magazine) and I said as cheerfully as possible, 'I hope I don't see you next month!' I wished him luck and went on my way.

He sort of changed my day with that short conversation. Here was this young man...I can only assume his wife is young as well...who saw me, a young woman, and just couldn't resist but to talk to somebody who would understand. I am so glad he broke whatever rules he broke. I don't even know his name, but I will be sure to stop in next month regardless and see how it's going.

I Love Letrozole :-)

Let's see.....time to catch up.

The TTW was annoying as usual. I am not pregnant. Valentine's Day nearly killed me at work and I have now enjoyed three days off in a row to recouperate.

Yesterday we went to the aquarium with all the thousands of other's on Mass school vacation. So many kids to chuckle about in awe of the creatures on display. And then we had a killer dinner at Island Creek Oyster Bar over by BU/Fenway/Kenmore. Super-highly recommended! Today, we're going to a wine tasting, delish! Okay, now for the better baby stuff.

We met with our doctor just before my period started to come up with a game plan if I was in fact not pregnant (you know, since we're just so freakin pro-active and all, but I'm glad we did). This cycle, we decided to use Letrozole instead of Clomid (no more Clomid ever). It's the same deal essentially; take your dose over 5 days time prior to ovulation. The Letrozole and Clomid work differently in the brain and block different transmitters. The major difference for me: zero side effects. Litterally zero. *sigh* Awesome.

We also discussed using an ovulation 'trigger' Ovidrel injection. The injection is done in your stomach, and about 36 hours later, you go in for your IUI. Essentially, this let's the doctor time my ovulation as closely as possible to my IUI. Very exciting, well, except for the self-injecting part. This will be our track for the next 4 cycles....but this is the one, so we won't be needing the other 3.

So my nurse called in the prescriptions to CVS (like always). I got a message from CVS a few days later saying that my prescription was delayed. I called to see what that meant, and the lady on the phone said, 'Oh, it's because we wanted to let you know that one of the prescriptions is not covered by your insurance and costs $129.00.' More freakin money. She suggested that I call around to other pharmacies and see if I can get a better deal somewhere else. I am so glad I did because it really opened up my eyes to the fact that no two pharmacies prices are equal. The most expensive place (which was Walmart people) wanted $156.00 and the cheapest place (Walgreens) had a 'members club' that you could join and save money on prescriptions. For only $85.00, I got my Letrozole. Walgreens did not carry the Ovidrel injection that I needed so I went back to CVS to get it....only to discover that I had my prescriptions reversed in my brain and that the Ovidrel was the expensive one not covered by my insurance, not the Letrozole. FML!! I blame my mix-up on Valentine's Day Brain. Another $129.00.

Everything is getting more expensive. Midwest raised their IUI-ready specimen price to $525 including shipping and Dartmouth raised their IUI price to $407. Happy New Year, right?!

Ooohh Oooohh....and we went for an ultrasound to look at my little folicle eggies. It was really cool to see on the screen. They measured my eggs so that they could decide when they would be ripe enough to ovulate and then tell me when to take the injection.

Yesterday was day 12, and I gave myself the injection at 9:15pm. Our IUI is Monday at 10am :-)

Love, Romance and the IUI, 8th edition.

Yesterday was IUI #8...and it only took me, my partner, and an army of nurses to make the magic happen.

You all know how much I love Clomid and can't wait to take more drugs, but what I didn't know was that by taking clomid and stimulating my ovaries, they were swelling up and pushing against my uterus making it harder for the nurses to insert the catheter up in there. Another reason to love clomid. Thirty minutes later with three nurses, speculum in, speculum out, fishing around up in there later, changing positions and pushing here, no try there, I am hopefully baking us a baby.

Nurse #1 was the same lady who did IUI #7. She adamantly tried her favorite catheter first, then her second favorite, and then her third favorite, the mac daddy catheter known as 'the rocket' (shouldn't anything known as 'the rocket' be the first choice???). 

Nurse #2 was a newbe and mostly just stood back and observed and made weird comments like 'they should use the back seat of a car as the table since that's where couples always had the most success getting pregant in the 50's' and 'you know you can wear socks if your feet are cold' and 'when you come back next time, wear socks.' My parter was like 'next time? There won't be a next time, right!?' 'Oh,' nurse #2 says, 'you're not planning on having another [child]?" Weird...she didn't pay attention in that class apparantly. 

'How ya doin', babe?' 

'Fine.' 

Nurse #3 had never helped us before, but I've spoken with her on the phone, so we were sort of familiar. She came in all confident, claiming that 'the rocket' is her go-to catheter. Rocket in hand, she fished and fished and finally, when she was just about to give up and go get a doctor, it worked. Now lay still for 10 minutes, think happy thoughts, and stare up at the florescent light with flowers and blue sky painted over it. Turn head, look at partner, and say 'get your butt over here and kiss me at least, will ya?' I love her so much. 

My buddy Clomid and me

Oh my GOD. What is the deal with hormones? Why do we have them again (yes, I know why, but really)? I cannot wait for this to be over.

Today is day 4 of clomid. The first three days were worse than previous clomid cycles. I've been getting hot flashes, headaches, dizzy spells, vertigo, slightly blurred vision, a little nausea. Sounds pleasant, right?! How badly do I want that baby again?! Oh and to top it all off, I'm out of town buying for work.

It's a holiday, which means my nurse hasn't called me back. Her voicemail has a pager number to send a page to, but I don't know what that means...(hehe) so I think I'll google it. Pagers, that's so 20 years ago.

If you're out there, nurse, what I want to say to you is 'do I really have to take this for another day? I have to fly tomorrow.' Considering the vertigo that I had today, flying sounds horrendous and highly unpleasant as well for the poor sucker sitting next to me. After doing some of my own research, I discovered that all of these symptoms are common, but yet not. Only up to 10% of women have any or all of these symptoms.

Hold up, phone just rang and it was my fav nurse. She said I shouldn't take any more clomid and that vertigo/vision changes are not a good side effect....thank god. Also noteworthy, she said I should only do 3 clomid cycles before stopping, as I ovulate normally without clomid (apparantly there are risks after the 3-cycle point). No more clomid ever :-)

Another office visit is in our future I think.

Relax, bug eye, you're making me nuts.

Last night as I told my partner that I'd started my period earlier in the day, we got into our now once-monthly argument over what we can do to improve our chances of pregnancy. As mentioned earlier, patience is not a virtue that she holds dearly. She was insisting that I call the nurse (as I would anyway at this point to let her know that I'm in fact not pregnant) and list off a bunch of questions about what we're doing/not doing and to make sure that there's nothing else we should be doing. She also has this thing about meningitis. When I was nine I had a form of meningitis, and she's convinced it has raised my body temperature permanently, decreasing our chances of pregnancy (not the case, solid 98.6). We have asked the question before; she won't let it go.

I tell her that I can't go on like this. I refuse to ask these questions every, single month. I think that we both need to just stop with the crazy proactivity and let nature take it's course. The only valid question that we might have is to ask about the difference between clomid and letrozole once more and see if it could be a good option for me....clomid=crazy bitch, letrozole I'm sure=different list of similar side effects. But perhaps I will bring this up to the nurse today when I call.

'I feel so vulnerable. I am the third party,' she says. She is sort of out of the loop, I suppose. I make all the phone calls, send all the emails, talk to the nurses, order the sperm. 'If you want to be a part of the process, you actually need to do something. Why don't you make the phone call tomorrow, then you can ask your questions?' Same conversation we had last month. We decide that I will make the phone call since I can explain how I feel with the clomid better than she can. I promise to repeat verbatim my conversation with the nurse instead of abbreviating like I normally do. Same resolution as last month.

'This is really hard, really hard,' I say to her. 'But I don't want you to feel left out, your shouldn't. You are just as important in this process as I am.' It's taken probably 15 minutes to get to this point. We both calm down.

Finally, we pause. Sarcasm takes over. I tell her that I'm also going to ask the nurse for a prescription horse tranquilizer that she can take on days 27-30 of my cycle.

cleanse over and out

Well, I took the big tinkle test.....and it's a big fat negative. Bring on the soda, coffee, ibuprofen and booze.

It's amazing that I was disappointed at all; I've had cramps now for DAYS. What a nice, friendly reminder, right? Even though I expected the negative results, it was still hard to read 'not pregant' on the digital read-out. And I've decided that clomid makes me a raging, crazy bitch who is cranky and ready to kill those who cross me just about 24-7. I think it is also making my premenstrual symptoms worse. I don't normally have cramps for DAYS before my period starts for example. I've also been having headaches which is unusual for me. And now there will be a third month of clomid. Yay.

Today is only day 27 in my cycle and I took the tinkle test yesterday.....perhaps I shouldn't be so negative. I've still got maybe two or three days before an impending period.

There is another drug that I could try. Letrozole is another ovulation stimulator that has it's own set of side affects. Perhaps I'll chat with the new doc about this and see what the real difference could be.

In theory, I am ovulating just fine on my own and shouldn't need any drugs to get pregnant. In theory, theories stink.

it's the most wonderful time of the year

Alrighty. Hope this doesn't get long-winded. There is a lot of crap to cover.

The vacation we took the first week of December was good. We went to Memphis to visit my partner's family. It was so nice to get away and see different faces and catch up with her brother's two kids. They are so freakin cute.....a little girl who's 2 1/2 and a little boy who's 10 months. Everything was great, except perhaps the last day of our trip when our THREE-leg plane ride was delayed TWICE. Let's just say this: by the last day of the trip, we're always ready to get home. Not just for sake of being home, but to get some of our own personal time as well. The 12+ hour day in the airport(s) included some agitation and nagging and probably too much eating and drinking, and we were both glad when it was over.

December is that time of the year when everyone you know (and some people that you forgot you know) sends you a photo card of their family. Could be a picture of their dogs or their flock of children. But really, we're not resentful......the Christmas Spirit never came to our house this year. No tree, no decorations, no cards, no nothing. It all stayed in the basement. One of my co-workers asked me which I disliked more, Christmas, or full-on wedding season. I quickly said Christmas. I am so bah-humbug right now that I don't even want to leave my ground-level workspace to ascend the lobby and see the decorations. Flip side, I could make bridal bouquets all day (and do in August).

My partner did surprise me with a little Christmas Eve dinner. I got home from work and there she was, laying it all out, Christmas music on, candles lit. It was a wonderful surprise.

On Christmas Day we went to my parent's house, which has become a rather regular thing. She calls it 'groundhog day' due to the regularity of not just the trip itself, but the whole experience. Same people, same food, same inter-family business. Oh, and many of the same gifts as regularly given each year. My sister was supposed to come with her husband and baby, but they couldn't make it. She is in the early stages of being pregnant again and having horrid morning sickness (she just announced this a few days ago). Although I would have enjoyed seeing my nephew, I am sort of okay with them staying home. Neither of us are in the mood for a full day of 'oh, I'm so excited for you.' Again, I am not resentful......just maybe a little bit disappointed that she calls me all excited and happy and barely asks me how my process is going.

But for some reason, the overall vibe of Christmas this year was a little different. On the car ride home, my partner said that she really enjoyed herself. There was no complaining about how we should have left hours ago or that someone drove her nuts. Instead, we talked about the good things that happened and funny things discussed during the day. Well, of course we covered the funny-bad things that were discussed as well, but you get my point. Overall, it was a different experience than usual.

And finally, after much waiting and anticipation, yesterday we went for IUI #7 (clomid this cycle). Lucky number 7. Our fav OB nurse was out yesterday, and her replacement was not, how should I say this, gentle. Ouchies in my hoo-haa. After my probing, we went out to dinner.....sushi for the last time for a while, right!? I had my last sips of booze for a while as well....gross, luke-warm sake. Memorable, truly.

Our prescription: Patience.

There is something to be said about patience and my partner's lack there of. All good things come in due time. What goes around comes around. There's no use crying over spilled milk.

She prefers: The early bird gets the worm. You get what you pay for.

It is a challenging dynamic that we work together on daily in every aspect of our lives. I tend to be the more patient, laid-back half while she paces and strategizes about our next career/life moves. This is not always an easy combination of personalities. I will get angry and say that she is too neurotic and needs to calm down and appreciate the moment, while she will get bitter and say that I'm not proactive and I don't care enough.

I love grocery shopping, but not with her. I love walking down the aisles and picking up packages, reading the labels, thinking about what I could make and interesting flavor combinations. She, on the other hand, cannot stand the thought of being there in the chaos of Sunday afternoon and speed walks the length of the store, iPhone in hand with list. And then, when we're almost to the other end of the store, she'll say something like, 'I forgot the salsa. You take the cart and get in line and I'll meet you there,' as if beating the other people in the store who are just racing to the checkout was a matter of life or death.

This is not to say that I am perfect in my laxidasical approach to life. I would much rather relax in the morning on my days off, leaving any and all errands and tasks for the afternoon. Problem with that? I run out of time. By the time dinner rolls around, I'm still running about taking care of whatever it is that I should have finished already. My tasks run into the evening sometimes....all because I spent too much time drinking coffee, facebooking or blogging or talk-show watching. Why don't I do my errands and tasks first so I can be done with everything earlier?

Let's bring it back to baby-making. I try very hard to be optimistic and respect the fact that this is a process. She wants a baby now. We've done everything right. Why is it taking so long?

As we walked to our car following the doctor's appointment last week, I couldn't help feeling like a total moron. There I was with a crazy long list of questions and his response to many of them the same: be patient, it will take time. The false positive pregnancy test he said was nothing more than a faulty kit and it could've happened to anyone (why the hell our nurse contact couldn't tell us that, I don't know). Clomid has many side effects, some of which could actually be detrimental to baby-making (like reduced cervical mucus and a not-so-great uterine lining), so as a healthy woman who is ovulating regularly, it may not be helping (again, really? Contact couldn't tell us this?). The average heterosexual couple trying to get pregnant naturally has about a 25% chance of acheiving pregnancy in the average month. A couple using frozen sperm has about a 10% chance in an average month (and again, are you kidding me? Is our contact actually a registered nurse?). He gave us a better sense of the next stages of our journey: we'll do one more IUI without any drugs (for a total now of 6 attempts). If we don't get pregnant this time, we will do up to 4 more IUI's with either Clomid or Letrozole. If after that we're not pregnant, we'll consider IVF.

If nothing else, all of our somewhat simple questions were finally answered instead of skirted and avoided. Another tank of gas and a half day of work bites the dust. An email would have sufficed.

My period should start sometime in the next couple days. For the next two weeks, I am drinking coffee and relaxing for as much of that time as possible. Oh, and thinking proactively, for my partner's sake.

Longtime, Lovely, Live-in, Lady Lovers take it to the Doc.

My partner argues that it didn't start with the L Word, but where the hell else did it come from? The L Word always had that title bit that put big 'L' words up on the screen for the viewer to ponder. Maybe it came from the house-cleaning hilarity of the phrase 'domestic partner.' As in 'What is your marital state? Oh, we're domestic partners' (substitute sarcastic 'long-time, lovely, live-in, lady lovers'. Sounds better, no? But in our case, I'm determined that where ever it came from, it's inspired an on-going quest for us to create more 'L' words that we can pile into one phrase, accompanied with high kicks (the high kicks didn't come from the L Word. The persona is totally based after SNL and Mary Katherine Gallagher.)

Most of the time, it's just the five L's in the title of this post, but occasionally we throw in 'lustful' or 'luxorous' or whatever seems to fit at the moment. Today, I add 'list-making' to the lot. I think it sounds good after 'live-in', don't you think?

We have composed a short list really (as if that's possible) of questions to ask our doctor today at our 'long-awaited' appointment. Well, it's as short as we crazy lesbians could make it:

1). Why was the home pregnancy test positive? Does this mean that I was actually pregnant at one point?

2). Clomid:
a. Should I take the same dose again next time?
b. I had some weird symptoms like dizziness, tiredness, headaches and dehydration. Is this normal?
c. Letrozole vs. Clomid: should we switch it up?

3). For the last frickin time people, how the fuck much will any additional testing cost us? Can anyone tell us this?

4). Is there any significance in the fact that we are two women living together? Is my cycle being affected by the hormones during my partners cycle and potentially preventing my pregnancy/causing miscarriage? (Yes, this is a bit far-fetched, but we're going to ask it anyway. It does make sense. FYI our cycles are not synced. I did a little research on this and it is not unusual for cohabiting females cycle's to sync. However, specifically dealing with lesbian couples, once you've lived together for an extended period of time, your lives and stresses tend to grow more individual and your cycles return to normal).

5). How is progesterone affecting my cycle/ability to get pregnant?

6). Are you tired of us yet? We'll take your honest opinion here doc. All you have to do is get us pregnant and we'll leave you alone. :-)

Say my name, what's my name?

You know you're in a normal, committed, lesbian relationship when you and your partner get into an argument about what you're going to be called as parents. But really, who gets to claim 'Mom' or 'Mommy'? How do you figure this out? Knock-down blow out, that's the healthy way.... hahahha.

Yesterday we went for our fifth IUI. We are very hopeful, as usual, but maybe a bit more this time since we introduced Clomid to my cycle. I am still ridiculously bloated, and after mentioning that to our fave IUI lady, she said that changes in my cycle would be totally normal. She said that it may even effect the length of my cycle, severity of cramps, etc. Information is so helpful. I could get used to this.

Later that night, as we watched TV and zoned out the days crazy events and discussed our treks all over the state of New Hampshire, we would occasionally pause and look into each other's eyes and hold hands and just think happy thoughts.

It was my mistake to say during one of these moment's of silence as I looked longingly into her eyes, 'What are we going to call you?'

She immediately responded, 'What do you mean, what are WE going to call YOU? What, are you and the baby going to come up with some name for me?'

'No, I mean what are you and I going to call each other?'

'I am not going to be called something stupid like 'Momma S' like 'Momma B' on the L Word. We are in this together 50/50.'

'That's not what I mean. Of course we're in this together.'

'So just because you're the one giving birth, you get to be called 'Mom'? The baby will come up with what it's going to call us.'

I was getting what I call 'bug eye' from her through our whole 'conversation'. Bug eye is this great expression she has that is totally glaring. I know when I get 'bug eye' that I am in trouble....It is challenging for both of us because this whole process is so sterile and clinical, but perhaps more so for her because she is not the one carrying. I think we resolved to let names and titles develop in due time. I just hope the kid comes up with something good. I don't want to be called 'MooMa' or 'DoDa' for the rest of my parenting life.....maybe for just the first few years.

Redemption for Dartmouth: the 'stay-cation' continues....

As you know, Dartmouth Hospital is a part of a world-renowned research center and ivy league college. We are of the opinion that you get what you pay for. After my rant of an email last week, our contact was very quick to call us back and defend their program while truly making us feel better about our healthcare.

I felt gulty after writing the email. I was harsh, and although I tried to not personally attack our contact, there were some parts that would have hurt me if it were my email to recieve. However, I didn't lie about or exaggerate any of our feelings at all. I kept reminding myself that I in fact do have to take charge of my own care to get what I need.

The call was long, about 30 minutes. I finally now know (after all this time) what sorts of tests that I could be up against both emotionally and financially and what the time frame is for all of them. I know more about who to direct other questions to that she couldn't answer. I know that although we feel sort of ignored in this process, this is all that we really need to be doing/concerned with at this point and that yes, we are being rigorously charted (for the info that they want right now...). I finally feel as though we have been informed about the process.

It is stressful being a hopefully preggo lesbo. The money that we saved to start this process is dissapearing. We joke that every month, we take a 'stay-cation' to Dartmouth. It's such a nice, scenic drive up I89 after all.... Humor is so great. We should get a camcorder so we can remember these fun, light-hearted moments we share during the car ride years from now when our kids move out and we're dealing with an empty nest. Hmmm. According to my partner, she ought to be about 90 by then. hehehe.

Sperm: it works better with alcohol.

Today is day 8 in my cycle.....it's time to stop what we're doing and buy sperm.

Tonight when I got home, I found it important to pour a giant cocktail. Perhaps it's due to my crazy busy career choice at this point. Lots of gin, a little triple sec, a little lime juice and cranberry. Sort of a 'oh crap, we're out of vodka' cape codder. I asked my partner to remind me that we HAD to buy sperm today or we'd have to pay extra for speedier shipment. So I got home, poured my drink, and announced that 'I'd be half in the bag and buying sperm' shortly. 'Isn't that how it's supposed to work? Doesn't everyone do it this way?' It is so easy to catch a buzz lately. I hardly drink anything alcoholic at this point, sort of training myself for the next stage. So basically I smell a stiff drink and start giggling.

The clomid is going well so far. Today is the third day of my five-day stint. I had a headache on the first day, really bad. But since then, no complaints. Oh, and we've had a huge conversation with our point-of-contact at Dartmouth. More to come on that.

We're going with the same donor as last time.....we're debating naming our child after him.....LOL. Every kid wants a number for a name, right? Sort of unique and catchy, right? A little buzz every now and then is a really great thing. My stress is melting away with the ice cubes.

Here we go again!!! With drugs this time!!!

OMG....I am not a faithful blogger. At least not in full-out wedding season. Time is something that I just don't have. Although, perhaps this is a good thing; I am not spending all day thinking and worrying about the fact that yet again, I am not pregnant.

My partner and I literally got into a full on, blow out argument last week about taking a pregnancy test on Thursday, like planned. Her argument was that we should just let nature take it's course and wait and see if I started my period. My argument was that I wanted to know as soon as possible what the outcome of our waiting and money was. Thursday came and went with no pregnancy test taken. Friday she came around and said we should test. The first test was a lemon; something wrong with it. The second test was a big fat negative. And then, as nature would sarcastically have it, I started my period about 5 hours later. Thanks nature for that slap in the face.

I know in my last post I had mentioned that we were researching Clomid. I had emailed our contact at Dartmouth early in the week, but she didn't respond until a rather angry phone call from my girlfriend on Saturday that questioned her lack of attention. It's been easily a year and a half since we've been working with Dartmouth, and since March that we've been inseminating with them, and they haven't even as much asked how my cycle was let alone charted my progress or lack there of. I am not sure if the outcome is what Dartmouth would normally do as their SOP, but I am going to pick up my Clomid prescription this afternoon and start on it tomorrow. I am frustrated with the lack of 'managed care' we are receiving from Dartmouth. One would think that a world-renowned hospital and research center would give a little more attention and individualized care to their patients. Why are we paying a premium and driving two hours for average health care? I may look into a local hospital or clinic for the remainder of our stint as hopefully preggo lesbos. What a waste of time, energy, money and gasoline.

Yeah, so, Clomid tomorrow! I have done all the research on it myself. No one at Dartmouth has told me what to expect. At least they had the courtesy to tell me how and when to take it.

I'm not sure I really know what to expect either way.

Researching chlamydia.....I mean Clomid

My partner has a special language all her own that I've learned to translate into English over the years. She comes out with some crazy things, but my latest favorite is the chlamydia/Clomid thing. So funny. Our conversation yesterday morning started out with her asking, 'How do we learn more about chlamydia?' My immediate, sarcastic response was that 'I should start by having some very promiscuous sex with a prostitute'....followed by our ridiculous laughter. But I digress....LOL

CLOMID is a very popular drug for stimulating ovulation, the most popular according to a few websites I visited while researching. It is a pill that you would take for five days starting somewhere between the 5th and 10th day of your cycle depending on the recommendation of your doctor. It is the perfect drug for those who don't have any physically detrimental conditions that could lead to infertility such as blocked fallopian tubes, cysts or....hehe.....STDs. Clomid seems to be fairly safe with side effects that last for perhaps only the five days you're taking it and include nausea primarily....(ladies, if you have different experiences, please feel free to comment. I'd love to hear them.) One main side effect of clomid is multiples. One in ten births is twins with only 30% of those being identical....which mean multiple eggies being released at once!! There are chances for more than two, but they are more like 1 in 100 or greater.

Even though we've only been through four inseminations, and we don't know if were pregnant yet with this one, we're considering using Clomid for our next cycle....if we're not pregnant right now!! Our doctor has recommended that we wait until we've gone through six unsuccessful attempts before testing for infertility and taking further steps. After all, a healthy woman would have a 1 in 4 chance of pregnancy each month, meaning that I still am a normal woman here in my fourth attempt. However, it is Elizabeth, the nurse who's helped us with so many inseminations, that has encouraged us to ask to move forward with Clomid a bit earlier than originally discussed. I have sent out my emails questioning our next move to our point of contact at Dartmouth and are just now waiting to hear what the word is.

Pregnancy tinkle test on Thursday.... :-)