Sonohysterosalpingogram....why are these tests so freakin' hard to say?

We went in for our SSG last week. This is a test where a balloon in inserted into the uterus with a catheter. Then they fill the balloon with air and saline so the full outline of the uterus is visible via ultrasound. I really do have a challenging situation down there for these doctors and nurses. None of them can easily get through my cervix. It takes forever with lots of painful prodding and poking and 'clamping' (which I just would rather not think about). Just about as our doctor was ready to give up, it worked. The picture was so cool to see (just like it was from when we had the HSG). I do in fact have two small polyps right next to each other. One is 4mm and the other is 5mm. Relatively speaking, these are very small polyps.

Following my probing, we spoke with our doctor in her office. She has left the decision for removal up to us as there really isn't much research dealing with the success rate of pregnancy following removal of polyps that are so small. She said that most would consider removal only if they were 1 or 1.5 centimeters or larger. I asked her about how we would go about removing them. Prior to my appointment, she had said that it could happen either in the office or in the OR. After her challenging experience trying to get in my hoo haa just now, she said she would do it under full anesthesia in the OR so that all the possible tools needed would be accessible. She did recommend that if we are going to move forward with IVF that we would want to remove them in order to create the best possible scenario for pregnancy.

I am thinking that I'm all set with full anesthesia in the OR for tiny polyps that may not really be affecting anything, and my partner is totally behind that as well. And I don't think we're going to move forward with IVF. Our insurance does not cover any part of it. I did speak with the financial advisor at Dartmouth Hitchcock and she did prepare me by telling me to sit down. The procedure is $7500 and the drugs could be an additional $5 or $6000. Wholly shit fuck. For only a 50% chance of success, we've decided that we'll pass for now.

After saying this to our doctor, she asked us what our plan is for moving forward if we're not going to do IVF. We have been thinking about this a lot lately. A couple weeks ago, my mentality was that I could only handle two or three more IUI's before I would be completely tapped emotionally. Today, I think we could go on like this for a while more. Who's to say that there aren't lots of women who have small polyps and have had kids successfully (since there isn't much research...)? Obviously, there has to be an end to IUI's at some point (hopefully because I'm pregnant, duh). If that point comes we would consider adoption. For now, I am focusing on the positive. It's time to stop thinking like someone who is a part of an 'infertility department' at a 'hospital' and start thinking like a 'normal' lesbian :-) hehe...

We'll call this one 'The half-month wrap-up'

Well.....I hate this month. It's November and you ask, 'what's there to hate about November?' For starters, here in NH I'm shaking cold one minute and I'm sweating the next. My sinuses don't know what to expect. But what I hate most about November is Christmas. And again you say, 'But Christmas is in December.' Yes, yes it is. Welcome to my decorating nightmare. Since November 1st I've been Christmas decorating all over the resort. My deadline to finish is in two days....Turkey Day. I am still waist deep in boxes. This explains my lapse in blogging.

IUI #6 was once again negative. I can't say that I'm surprised given the crazy emotional roller coaster the past month has been. But, even in all the craziness, I ovulated and menstruated just like business as usual. So I guess in theory, I can't blame my bouts of anxiety.

We did go and see the other doctor. It was a bit like cheating, but it was a great experience. She is young, brilliant, and fresh out of school...and as we both decided, sort of hot which doesn't hurt. Well, our last doctor was an old dude, so....kidding....she was great. Her nurse, our new point-of-contact, is also great (*yes*). We are both so happy with this latest move. It's not that she brought to light new information that we'd yet to hear. Most of it was the same, but she had a way of talking with us and explaining things to us that felt personal.

I had to cancel my nutritionist appointment. But, the reason for that was because I scheduled a hysterosalpingogram (so happy to call this thing an HSG from this point forth) at the same time. This is a radiology test where they can see if there is any sort of blockage in your fallopian tubes or weirdness going on in your uterus.  Essentially, they shoot iodine into your uterus and it swirls around and hopefully exits out your fallopian tubes. As I was getting ready for the big day, many people had warned me of the cramps. Let's just say that they were right. Holy crap. And for days following. And bloating. I have never been so bloated. I was so bloated that I think I could have stuck a pin in my abdomen and popped it like a balloon. Oh and lovely spotting (I really hate the word spotting) for days too. Fun stuff.

The HSG was fascinating to watch on the screen; sort of like a piece of black and white watercolor art coming to life. When it was done, the OB said that everything looked great. I knew it would be that way, but I feel so much better now that it's confirmed. So now we wait. We're not doing an IUI this month (I would be ovulating this weekend) to compensate for the cost of the HSG last week (total cost for test $3000. Our out of pocket cost, only about $400 with Anthem). Plus we're going on a much needed and deserved vacation in a week, and well, vacations cost money too.