Loser sperm: balls over brains

We decided to change sperm donors for our most recent attempt. This will be our 4th donor I think?? Lost count I guess. Well, let's go back, donor #1 was a chiropractor from California Cryobank, donor #2 was a rocket scientist (literally) also CC, donor #3 was the molecular biologist from Midwest Sperm Bank, and yes, donor #4 is also from Midwest.

One of these things is not like the other. One of these things is really not the same.

We'd been talking about changing donors for days. Finally, we were sitting on the couch watching TV at like 9:30 at night and she's like, 'hey, I thought we were going to change donors this time?'

'Yeah, get on the website and pick one.'

Literally two minutes later, 'okay buy this one.'

This was very quick for my partner, who is the one obsessed with the donor selection. When I asked what his deal was, she said, 'I think he's a loser. Maybe he has viable sperm.'

Donor #4 is officially our first non-advanced degree, science or math professional. I think he has a high school education and likes skateboarding. He might have red hair. Maybe he smokes a little weed. Not a lot of weed, that would be bad for sperm count. He's just relaxed and has no responsibilities! He sounds refreshing! Hopefully he's a little smart, somewhere, deep down inside. But hey, if I gave birth to the next Tony Hawk or Shawn White, that would be awesome too. I guess it's fine if the kid doesn't go to MIT on a scholarship.

'Okay, perfect.'

I Love Letrozole :-)

Let's see.....time to catch up.

The TTW was annoying as usual. I am not pregnant. Valentine's Day nearly killed me at work and I have now enjoyed three days off in a row to recouperate.

Yesterday we went to the aquarium with all the thousands of other's on Mass school vacation. So many kids to chuckle about in awe of the creatures on display. And then we had a killer dinner at Island Creek Oyster Bar over by BU/Fenway/Kenmore. Super-highly recommended! Today, we're going to a wine tasting, delish! Okay, now for the better baby stuff.

We met with our doctor just before my period started to come up with a game plan if I was in fact not pregnant (you know, since we're just so freakin pro-active and all, but I'm glad we did). This cycle, we decided to use Letrozole instead of Clomid (no more Clomid ever). It's the same deal essentially; take your dose over 5 days time prior to ovulation. The Letrozole and Clomid work differently in the brain and block different transmitters. The major difference for me: zero side effects. Litterally zero. *sigh* Awesome.

We also discussed using an ovulation 'trigger' Ovidrel injection. The injection is done in your stomach, and about 36 hours later, you go in for your IUI. Essentially, this let's the doctor time my ovulation as closely as possible to my IUI. Very exciting, well, except for the self-injecting part. This will be our track for the next 4 cycles....but this is the one, so we won't be needing the other 3.

So my nurse called in the prescriptions to CVS (like always). I got a message from CVS a few days later saying that my prescription was delayed. I called to see what that meant, and the lady on the phone said, 'Oh, it's because we wanted to let you know that one of the prescriptions is not covered by your insurance and costs $129.00.' More freakin money. She suggested that I call around to other pharmacies and see if I can get a better deal somewhere else. I am so glad I did because it really opened up my eyes to the fact that no two pharmacies prices are equal. The most expensive place (which was Walmart people) wanted $156.00 and the cheapest place (Walgreens) had a 'members club' that you could join and save money on prescriptions. For only $85.00, I got my Letrozole. Walgreens did not carry the Ovidrel injection that I needed so I went back to CVS to get it....only to discover that I had my prescriptions reversed in my brain and that the Ovidrel was the expensive one not covered by my insurance, not the Letrozole. FML!! I blame my mix-up on Valentine's Day Brain. Another $129.00.

Everything is getting more expensive. Midwest raised their IUI-ready specimen price to $525 including shipping and Dartmouth raised their IUI price to $407. Happy New Year, right?!

Ooohh Oooohh....and we went for an ultrasound to look at my little folicle eggies. It was really cool to see on the screen. They measured my eggs so that they could decide when they would be ripe enough to ovulate and then tell me when to take the injection.

Yesterday was day 12, and I gave myself the injection at 9:15pm. Our IUI is Monday at 10am :-)

Diarrhea of the mouth

Since my last post, I've had a few outbursts of anxiety, but nothing that my partner and I couldn't work through in maybe 30 minutes max. I am starting to figure out that I can't go on keeping my feelings inside; I need to let them all out as they happen....which is startling to both myself and my partner....and my staff (those poor people who had no idea I had critiques stuck in my brain). I am a new, outspoken, positive AND negative woman with concerns and fears that are spewing out.

Let's see, what has happened lately that could remotely relate to making a baby.....

We went for our 6th IUI  a week ago on Friday....less than a week more to wait. It was our first time with fabulous donor #345 from Midwest. He is a late-30's Phd who's field of study is biology. Our visit to Dartmouth was great. The same lady did our IUI again, and we had a nice, long chat about our journey to this point. She still thinks that it's odd that I haven't gotten pregnant yet, and since she's the one who looks in my hoo haa every time, I believe her. She said that we might want to get another doctor's opinion about our experience and had a great recommendation for a young woman fresh out of school at their Concord location. We have an appointment with her on Tuesday this week. I am sort of excited to hear another doctor's opinion, but honestly, I think she's going to tell us the same thing....we have to be patient.

I had an appointment with my PCP about the anxiety. She sensed that I crave information about what's going on in my body, so she recommended that I go and see a nutritionist. The appointment is later this month. I am REALLY excited about this appointment. I have always been fascinated by what we eat and how it affects our bodies and I can't wait to ask her all sorts of questions about what I should be eating while trying to get pregnant and beyond. I am so fascinated by nutrition that it was going to be my focus for getting my masters degree...but then the flower thing came along and the rest is history. Oh, by the way, I just ate a huge piece of cake for breakfast. Thank God birthday week is almost over and that cake is almost gone. *sigh* at least I recognize my faults.

The view from here

We're almost to a point where we can smile when we think about Jack. Our other cat, Boomer, has had a few random flash backs where you can tell he's re-living that night...sort of like kitty-deja vou. Our dog, Ali, hurt her back in a big scuff on the stairs that night. She's been gimping around ever since. Finally this morning, she's almost back to normal. Life is almost back to normal, but there will always be the memories.

Today is day 11 in my cycle and we are ready to move forward with our next IUI. We have purchased our new sperm from Midwest SB and he should be landing in Hanover tomorrow. This donor is also handsome and well-educated, just like the others. He has a PhD in molecular biology (wow, and I just play with flowers. And you could say that my partner just 'draws'. Crazy smart.) According to the receptionist I spoke with, he resembles Andre Agassi. Okay, not bad, but I suppose not amazing either, not that I'm very picky at this point! He stood out from the pack in the donor catalogue, but my partner had some doubts. As we read through his long profile (free people, free...love it) we enjoyed all of his responses but noticed he left some blank. One that he left blank was regarding illegal drugs. They had a chart for you to check 'yes' or 'no' on all of the most popular drugs. He checked 'no' on everything except one. POT. I suppose we should be happy that he's not a crack or heroin addict. But my partner, being neurotic, says that since he left it blank, he must smoke pot and therefore has a reduced sperm count so he just wont do. I agree that he's probably a stoner, but according to the same receptionist, he had twins lately, so I'm fine with that. He's obviously relaxed. Bring it on.

My birthday is next week......happy baby to me?

I'm off to renew my driver's licence.

Shopping our baby around

We are not cheap people. We are of the school that less is more and quality over quantity. Our home is very sparsely decorated with little to no clutter or knick knacks. Tag sales are something that we don't partake in. We don't do lawn ornaments and have no random collections displayed in china cabinets. The material items we do have are ones that we chose because of their lasting, classic style. We would rather save our money for a few additional months and get the nice, expensive item over the cheaper item; it will surely be worth it in the end.

By the way, we're cheaping out and changing sperm banks. California Cryobank is a rip-off.

After five months of attempts at pregnancy, we figure that we've invested around $5800.00, of which $1500.00 was unnecessarily spent. That is a huge percentage, no? The reason is that with California Cryobank, we've paid a premium for sperm. Now granted, the reason that we chose them in the first place was quality: their website was and definitely is by and far the best and most user-friendly. They offer many additional items for 'free' to help decide on a donor. However, after learning about how every sperm bank is governed by the same group and every specimen must pass the same testing nation-wide, we decided to venture onto other banks websites.

Midwest Sperm Bank's website is lame. The interface looks like it's from the 80's. There are no bells and whistles. They only have about 35 donors total to choose from. There are no donor-composed essays to read or celebrity photos to compare. There is barely enough information to get a basic idea of the person: ethnicity, hair color, eye color, height, weight, level of education, field of study. Done deal. They will offer you a medical history if you ask for one, but I'm thinking it isn't digitally available or it would most likely be on the website already.

The deciding factor? Every specimen is the same price, $350.00, a savings of $235.00 from what we're currently paying. There is no popularity contest amongst donors like on CC's website where supply and demand jack up prices on the super-amazing-perfect donors. And shipping? $125.00 for our location on the map; a savings of $60.00.

Total monthly savings: $295.00. All we're missing out on are cheesy donor descriptions and even cheesier Q&A's about why they wanted to become a donor and what their favorite color is.

Instead, we can take our savings and put it toward baby gear and mommy-to-be work clothes. Shopping never felt so good.